theplaguereturns

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~A Sprinkle of Rain~

It is pouring outside, the rain forever falling out of the clouds and painting the earth with rich, dark soil. It’s glorious to see the transformation that takes place as it continues to shower, sprinkling a glistening magic onto the fauna and beauty all around.

I beheld that beauty just this afternoon when I stepped outside onto the patio. Rain still bucketed down, the sound of it on the roof like nature’s own musical tune. My dog decided it would be rather funny to race outside and run in the puddles. Water splashed his coat with mud and my first thought was: “Dammit, now I have to wash him.” And then I saw how much fun he was having. I could have sworn he was smiling. As the water splashed up, he would try and catch it. He was entertaining himself. So rather than worrying about the mess, I started to play. I flicked up water and got rather drenched myself. I laughed with glee and had a good time. It felt good to just, be carefree.Image

 

~A Flame in the Darkest of Darks~

We all have hope or some form of it. We all have something to strive for or something that makes us light up. It could be that warm cup of hot chocolate on a cold winters day. Perhaps it is the warmth of the bed at night to keep away the nightmares. Whatever it is, there is that one thing–no matter how minuscule or tiny–it is there. And this thing, whatever it may be, attracts us like moths to a flame. If dangled before us, we’d chase it trying hopelessly to catch it.Image

As a child, I remember reaching for a flame because I thought it was so pretty. I realised after receiving a scarring blister that not all beauty comes without pain. I was a moth and I was stung by the flame. I don’t know what point I was trying to make amongst all this. It was lost in the swirl of thoughts.

~The Start of a New Year~

The start of the new year has occurred with so many brand new things happening for me. I’m so happy with the way school life has sparked to life and I am also very happy with the way that my job has kicked off. All is well in my life at the moment and I am enjoying every second of it. I now understand what they mean when they say, “enjoy the moment.” It makes so much more sense.

Life’s door has opened and opportunities are pouring in with the light. It is hard to decide which one to take, and greed threatens to make me fight for all of them. However, I will think hard and wait for it isn’t time to decide just yet. I’ll bide my time and choose what is right for me.

~The Fondest Memories~

I miss being a young girl. It was so easy. If I did something embarrassing or silly in public, people would ‘aww’ and ‘ahh’ at me rather than whisper and judge. I’d be able to walk up to someone and say “Hi, my name is Tamarah. I’m 5 years old. Do you want to be friends?” In a matter of minutes, we’d be lost in a world of our own, the bestest of friends.

But when does that all change? When does it all become difficult? When do you become too old for the sandpit or too big for the slide? I look back on photos of me as a child, my own bright blue eyes staring back at me. A large grin sits on my face and refuses to move as I change from picture to picture. I’m not saying I’m so depressed now, I’m just heavy with nostalgia. It is all gone and I want it back. I want the vivid memories to become vivid to the point of reality. My Dad used to sit with me down at our old creek and tell me tales of his childhood or talk about the big dreams for the future. I miss it all.

One picture will forever be engraved into my memory, like initials carved into wood. The picture is of my mother and father on Christmas of ’95. My mother was heavily pregnant with me and my father had the goofiest grin on his face whilst caressing my mum’s stomach. It is the happiest photo of the three of us. I don’t wish for them to be back together, but I do wish that I could remember what it was like to have both my parents under the same roof and raising me as a team.

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Robo Cookie

The simplest things…

~Experiencing Something Different~

Living a sheltered life just doesn’t appeal to me. I want to go out and achieve great things, like most people would want to do I guess. I want to learn and take in as much knowledge as my brain can take and be able to see the world in all its glory. Photography appeals to me, as does writing. There are so many various things out there that provoke me to explore. I was that kid who dug in the dirt because I saw a worm do it. I was that kid who climbed trees because I was a monkey. I was that kid that had the wildest imagination and thought up the craziest things. My mind was constantly in another world, rarely in reality. One day, I’d be a ferocious lion and tackle my fears with my teeth bared; the next, I’d be a delicate and graceful princess who ruled her kingdom with fairness and a kind heart. Life was all a sweet fairytale, a wonderful and pure world of imagination. As I think back on it, with a thick sense of nostalgia, I laugh at all the deliciously innocent thoughts that passed through my mind. All that rested on me was a white light, unable to be touched by cruelty or maliciousness. I was invincible in my own sort of way.

My Happy Place

A place to call my own, a place that I ruled alone.

Recently, I started to learn the ways of Astrology, Numerology and Tarot. Out of the three, I’ve grasped Tarot the best having bought my own deck and studied like crazy on the subject. The idea of it all appeals to me and I believe in the ways of the Tarot. I admire the power they hold and cherish the information they deliver, for it has helped me. At times, it may not be clear, but in the end, the cards do prove true.

I’m not the average sixteen year old. I don’t like to party and get drunk. I prefer to let the rain soak into my skin, to watch the sun rise up over the horizon and greet the world with its beauty. Why would I conform to society when there is such a natural beauty to behold? Perhaps photography is the way to go for me, for every moment and the one before, is a moment I want to catch with the lens. The little moments are the ones that matter, for they are the ones you’ll remember when it all disappears.